The three desk monkeys at this place are completely clueless. If they're not out to lunch (a practice they hold for over an hour every day), they're making snarky comments about residents the instant said residents are out of their tiny glass office. Sound carries through glass, geniuses.

I returned home one night to find five policemen and one police woman in SWAT gear huddled around the side stairs. "Welcome home," said the woman, from behind her plastic shield. This is a metaphor for living here but I can't yet figure out exactly how.

Parking is a total nightmare. A friend of mine had a temporary parking pass on his mother's car and the towing company neglected to check the rearview mirror but instead hauled it up and away to a holding station, where we mercifully found it before it could be impounded. There was damage on the bumper, which the fatassed management monkeys made some vauge resolution to look into.

The renovation was shoddy. A week after moving in, I found flakes peeling up from the bathtub - a poor latex spray job was covering globs of rust. Some was removed with some elbow grease and some is here to this day. In the kitchen, one finds that the new gas ranges cannot be used in conjunction with the stove, lest the gas use turn off altogether. There is no dishwasher and no washer/dryer in the room, an outlandish slight for the $650 rent.

The only bright spot in this place is the maintenance - friendly and punctual, they seem to recognize the faults of their bosses but work to rise above it. These guys should be sitting behind the big desks.

In conclusion: if you like pigeon ---- on your car, lazy idiots taking your rent money, nightly noise violations, drug busts and rust, this is your place. Otherwise, take your money and move to any surrounding complex. Your dignity will thank you for it.

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