I'm now renting for the second time at Harbor Greens. I highly recommend the complex.

Not only do I have a beautiful view of the Lincoln Mercury dealership, but during the day one of their bodyshop workers serenades the complex in endearingly off-key renditions of songs I can't say I've ever heard sung quite that way. His gentle voice and soulful delivery can lull you to a deep sleep ... or maybe it's the toxic fumes from the chemicals they use to fix the cars.

My neighbors are as colorful as they are charming. I cannot wait to go out and sit on my porch and watch the parade of students, strippers and Paul Mitchell Beauty School chicks strut on by. It's like going to a gentleman's club without having to pay a cover charge or drink minimum. On the warm, sunny days we have here, I can sit back, relax and truly appreciate the beauty and artistry of the various tramp stamps; like snowflakes, no two are exactly alike - no matter how many times you see a butterfly, heart or tribal print, they truly are the gift that keeps on giving as they shift back and forth just above (or peeking out of) the tops of low-rider jeans. And, judging from the sounds coming from the apartments where the owners of these art pieces live, these women really, Really, REALLY know how to keep in shape at all hours of the night (and the occasional day). There isn't a single beautiful girl here that has reached the age of maturity that isn't worth a dollar - or twenty for a half hour.

Getting up early in the morning, you can wander the neighborhood and meet all kinds of interesting people. Most of them are very concerned with the environment, and make sure that all of the aluminum cans get properly recycled. Some are occasionally discovering that the earth spins and gravity will always win; they tend to be throwing up next to cars. And I learned something: all this time I through Jesus was a jewish fella that got stapled to a tree for telling people they should be nice to each other ... turns out he's a tall, skinny black guy who rides a bike around Costa Mesa and spends a great deal of time looking at dumpsters. Who knew'

Harbor Greens is a rich and pungent neighborhood. Every new corner brings a new and exciting smell. Sometimes it's the gamey smell of the watery poop of a very large dog that can't seem to get off the sidewalk before he squirts out yet another colorful (and slippery) Rorshach test, and sometimes it's the smell of a certain weed that tends to make one hungry after smoking it.

And let's not forget the neighborhood entertainment. There's the gentleman who plays flute to his pomeranians, the skateboarders who will one day make it to YouTube for their magnificent abilities to get back on their feet after sliding on their backs through the above-mentioned Rorshach image. And the future DJs who test the volume knobs on their stereos at different times of the day and night to see how the sound reverberates off the nerves of their neighbors. And the reality-show-like quality of the newly independent individuals who are now old enough to sign rental agreements (but not yet old enough to drink ... not that that seems to stop them) who seem to believe that it's necessary to talk loudly - or shout incessantly - in a quiet neighborhood (the neighborhood does tend to be quite quiet at 2AM) to ge their points across. One can only assume that "get out of my house" is a difficult concept to convey, and that it must be repeated for half an hour at various volume levels and with occasional colorful descriptions of the person they're talking at.

Parking has never been a problem. Many of the neighbors simply put their cars in park and leave them wherever it is they last stopped. I appreciate this, as it does sometimes slow the other neighbors down from the 40 or 50 MPH they travel through the parking lot at. I'm looking forward to Christmas when the neighborhood children all get their new scooters and bikes and take them out into the parking lot. I've never seen a reindeer or a pig fly, but I would imagine a 10 year old on a Schwinn will get some good air and easily clear 10 yards of asphalt after they get hit by a speeding Honda. Maybe more if they get hit by the guy in the truck; he's much better at speeding than most of the other wannabe Speed Racers.

I can't say enough good things about the office staff, though. They are polite, and can feign both interest and concern better than most actors I've met.

The maintenance crew is excellent. I have had a few of the twenty issues I've reported to the office four months ago PROMPTLY fixed. They know what they're doing, and - as soon as the office writes out a work order - they're on it. Given who they work for, they have a remarkable sense of humor.

Overall, I have to say that living at Harbor Greens is an experience you'll treasure for the rest of your life. Like Herpes.

User Responses
From: Anonymous	Date: 09/13/2008
oh, and lets not forget that my apartment backs up to the OCC construction school. So while I have to be in bed by 9:00 (because i wake for work at 4am) i have their flood lights blaring into my bedroom, along with the hammering and sawing until 10pm. I didn't see that during my walk through of the apartments. I LOVE your review. you've made my weekend. I might very well love you.
From: Anonymous	Date: 09/14/2008
When I originally moved to Harbor Greens back in 1994 I lived in a three bedroom that was opposite the construction school. You're lucky; they've got that wall built all the way now. Back then there were sections that were chain link or missing and the sea of rats could come and go as they pleased. Now, at least, they have to exercise to get over the wall. It's true that the lights weren't in (nor was the 'tropical' palm tree cell tower), but I'm reasonably sure that the apartment flooding (I lived in the Titanic building), crack addicts and Strippers On Parade made it a toss up. The place is much nicer now. Much nicer. And that's what's frightening.
From: Anonymous	Date: 09/15/2008
That was elloquent and nicely put! Way to play up the positives. I truely appreciate your humor today!
From: formertenant0204	Date: 12/31/2008
Funny, my husband and I were just talking about the possibility of getting a new car but thought now might not be a good time. Then we remembered that if we could move back into our old place (just around the bend off of Harbor) it would be highly likely that we could again have our car totalled by a hit and run uninsured drunk driver and have our car insurance company pay for it! The hardware store is located conveniently within walking distance and you can spend four times what you may if you hoofed it down to Home Depot. BTW - you failed to mention the brown foaming sludge in the jacuzzi, which I assume must not be bad for one's health considering all of the youngsters wallowing in it. Future tenants should not concern themselves with the occasional car to car chase resulting in a drive by shooting because according to the CMPD - they stem out of Santa Ana and just happen to reach their climax on any random street off of Harbor Blvd.

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