Tuscaro Apartments

Phuck This Place From: McLovin08 Date posted: 1/26/2008 Years at this apartment: 2002 - 2005 1 response   I lived there about three years ago and since I moved out I haven't looked back. I check this website every now and then and look at all the jokers who say great things about this place. I can assure you they are either a member of tuscaro management or on prozac. What really phucking annoyed me, despite the thin walls, gate always being broken, bitchy staff, car theft and the 6 week turn around of processing work orders, was the gayyy ass sign you had to see every day upon exiting the parking lot which reads, "Ciao." How pretentious is that. That phucking sign mocked me for three years of my mid twenties. It haunts me to this day. The only thing Italian about that joint is the sweaty whops that own the pizzeria across the street. And by the way, to any prospective tenant, if you cherish your sleep, you may want to notice all the bird crap that cakes the rooftops. Yes the pigeons have made tuscaro their bird-made porter potty and they prefer to do their shitting at 4:00 a.m. Seemingly, this does not seem problematic. However, these little bastards have this multi-tasking ability to chirp at the top of their God damn lungs while they blow ass; hence the lack of sleep I received during my brief stay at this Hanoi pit of hell. In addition, I appreciate the fact that all these pro-tuscaro douche bags bring up the fact that the apartments are conveniently located next to major freeways. Why, that's just phucking wonderful news! I tell you what, you're going to need access to those major freeways on a bus because that's the only way you'll get to work. You see, the architectural design of tuscaro's parking lot was authored by Larry, Moe and Curly. The number of tenants far exceeds the number of parking spaces. Therefore, unless you want to fight for parking spaces every time you come back home, your best bet is to chance it with the homies on public transportation. I took the bus one time and got to see my first live brotha take a "key hit." That's where you dabble your house keys in some coke and snort it. Phuck that noise Jack. I moved to Del Boca Vista right down the street. Tuscaro can suck on both of my two gargantuant balls. Gargantuant. I love that word; I just rarely am afforded the opportunity to use it in a sentence.

Recommended: NO Overall Rating

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