From the Archstone Walnut Creek Senior Community Manager, who evidently thinks she s the Great Little Dictator, posted me this exacting edict dated 13 March 2008 which read in part:

I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that our lease states that we expect our associates to enjoy a harassment free workplace. The contents of your email(dated 11 March 2008)violate section F of our lease agreement. Please be advised that this is the only notice that we will give regarding this behavior. Any further type of harassment to any of our staff members may result in legal action being taken.

As a result of this I would like to advise you that at this time all communication must be sent directly to myself in the form of a letter sent by mail, by phone or through an appointment to meet in person. In the future any emails received will not be addressed due to the nature of previous emails received.

Brief Background:

We ve been residents at Archstone Walnut Creek since 28 April 2006 and have now twice renewed our lease on both 28 April 2007 and 28 March 2008, making us two-year residents thus far.

At their so-called My Archstone website for residents, under the Contact Us tab is a so-called Comment Card, which asks, How are we doing' and boasts, We re listening with the following invitation of pure puffery:

You are in the best position to help us address the way you want to live. Our number one priority is providing you with a quality living experience so talk to us. Tell us how we are doing. Tell us how we can be better, faster, and smarter. Share your ideas on ways we can make your life as wonderful as possible, or tell us about what we re already doing well.

Recently I completed two(2)so-called comment cards and copied and pasted their contents to the direct email link of the so-called Senior Community Manager, otherwise now most affectionately known as The Great Little Dictator.

Most recently we got posted to our apartment door a two-day Dear Resident, Good News! notice dated 10 March 2008 that on that imminent Wednesday of March 12th a virtual army of Quality Verification Services(QVS)staff-supervised technicians would be unleashed upon the complex to enter apartments at will to test/repair all air conditioners and air duct systems, including all air vents in all rooms as well as the token furnace and thermostat, during normal business hours.

Comment Card #1: So in this first comment card I reported that all our air conditioning/heating vents and thermostat were working just fine and that, quite the contrary, their capricious incursion into our apartment, unduly disturbing our quiet enjoyment, as well as the inconvenience of re-arranging work schedules to be present during their spot inspection and making all systems accessible would pose a great inconvenience, requesting further if possible the opportunity to opt out of said spot inspection.

Incidentally, I observed several of these roving QVC technicians throughout the day from both our entry peep hole and patio sliding glass doors and absolutely none of the ones I watched were staff- supervised and all were entering apartments at random with their own keys. And the quite stout technician whom I observed entering the apartment directly opposite to ours went in and out, leaving the tenant s apartment door hanging wide open whilst he went back and forth to assemble equipment. Such expected carelessness is one reason why we preferred opting out.

Comment Card #2: So in this second comment card I voiced complaints, both long-standing and recent, concerning the complex s so-called fitness center, which recently underwent certain supposed upgrades, including the laying of fresh flooring, painting and the installation of new ceiling fan and lighting fixtures, as well as two brand-new pieces of Starmaster -type exercise equipment, which is all perfectly fine, well and good.

Likewise ultimately intended is the installation of a cable TV, which I d called a wasted investment inviting theft if anything due to the center s front door having been jimmied and breached(for the entire two years we ve lived here)to the degree that anybody(even without a tenant s amenity key )can insert their arm through to gain access via the center s very front door by simply pressing the door s inside hand-bar. And that particular breach likewise makes their heightened so-called security equally token. I made absolutely no complaints whatever against any upgrades made.

My major complaint however concerns the fitness center s faulty TREADMILL, which I d been reporting for literally months on end to that listening management office to be both dilapidated and dangerous. All too frequently that obsolete machine has literally CONKED OUT altogether during use and smelt of burnt bearings or rubber or both and requires PROMPT REPLACEMENT.

What these management associates don t know is that a daily email correspondent and sometimes guest of mine can document by both date and time literally SCORES of incidents over a period of literally MONTHS in which I recount in passing that treadmill s outright CONKING OUT during use as I resort to it almost daily, performing three-mile running bouts five times per week. And I m quite qualified to testify in these matters since I m also a fitness expert five-times nationally certified(ACE, ISSA, NASM, NCSF, NFPT).

Rather than replace that run-down, dangerous machine that apartment management persists instead with making impermanent make-shift, stop-gap repairs that invariably prove to be temporary at best.

Posted inside the fitness center are policies hours lasting from 5AM to 11PM daily though for the past entire two years, being a graveyard-shift working person, I ve felt free resorting to the fitness center equipment with my own tenant amenity key at all hours of the night or day and without any complaint from fellow tenants.

So my related complaint voiced on that second comment card concerned being recently accosted at the fitness center by an uppity guard from Overton Security named Patrick who entered the room a little past 11PM, disrupting my aerobic workout whilst I was 2.5 miles into an intense treadmill run, with the curt admonition, Time to shut it down! and following that up with a childish crack alluding to my deep, diaphragm breathing, I don t want you to have a heart attack on me. This, mind you, coming from a graying, paunchy, conspicuously out-of-shape security guard! No Excuse me. No Sorry to interrupt your workout No decent, common courtesy at all. Just a rude, disruptive, mid-run: Time to shut it down! dictate. Most tellingly, this security guard admitted with questioning that the Archstone management had threatened to pull their Overton company s security account should they not crack down on residents after-hours use of the fitness center. Archstone relishes resorting to threats in treating all its relations, evidently.

Now to re-emphasize: I submitted these two comment cards and copied and pasted their contents to no one else in Archstone Walnut Creek management except the senior community manager, aka The Great Little Dictator. In response the senior community manager, aka The Great Little Dictator, made absolutely no reply whatever.

In her stead, some office flunky, a so-called Customer Service Associate, sent me her sometimes pompous and condescending email dated 11 March 2008 A few points to clear up your concerns, it begins which read in part:

1) The treadmill is fine, in working condition, and a few associates in the office even admit to using it on a regular basis with no problems or interruption.

Essentially here this twirp s calling me a liar outright. Well, my daily email correspondent and sometimes guest who s actually been present during numerous workouts has actually witnessed that run-down treadmill literally conking out on multiple occasions and is quite prepared to execute a sworn affidavit to that effect.

Of course, as I ve likewise reported, the run-down machine won t conk out unless it s used continuously at a certain intensity(pace or speed) typically past 6.0, which translates roughly to 10-minute miles, and as such is exceptionally slow by any objective standard. In commercial gyms it s quite common to observe fit members regularly using treadmills at brisk paces exceeding 8.0-8.5 performing roughly 7.5-6.6-minute mile runs respectively. Personally I won t ever over-work that fitness center s decrepit treadmill, rarely attempting paces exceeding 7.0-7.5 or roughly 8.5-8.0-minute miles, which is just moderate performance capacity.

So if that machine isn t breaking down during operation by management associates then it s obviously due to the fact of extremely slow-paced use. And as I pointed out, without referring to anyone in particular: anybody taking a leisurely stroll on any treadmill whilst reading a magazine a typical scenario and thinks they re working out aerobically is only kidding themselves.

My sole point being: beneficial and effective aerobic workouts for fitter residents require certain minimum intensities(paces or speeds)of use otherwise the treadmill s essentially use-LESS! as that fitness center s run-down machine most definitely is.

Next that office flunky condescendingly wrote, presuming to pompously preach to me concerning the fitness center s token security :

The fitness center hours that are posted on the wall are absolutely the hours between which you can access and use the fitness center machines So you can expect to plan your future workouts around the small six-hour period each day that our fitness center, and all common resident areas, will be closed.

Really' In jest, I d responded that the police state head had spoken, Yavo, Commandant!

Archstone Walnut Creek has asked our courtesy patrol company, Overton Security, to crack down a bit on suspicious activity in the fitness center, the office flunky added as if working out after-hours constitutes suspicious activity.

In closing the office flunky presumed to condescendingly lecture me further:

Everyone has a different ideal workout environment and you are more than welcome to avert your eyes from the TV in place if it is a distraction to you and your exercise ritual.

So in response I likewise told her flat-out not to presume either to preach to me or to misquote me as I hadn t raised the first protest against the installation of any TV as a distraction other than to term it a wasted investment, which it is, since it would ve been a far more beneficial and useful investment simply to replace the fitness center s dilapidated and dangerous treadmill!

In her idly threatening letter of 13 March 2008 Archstone Walnut Creek s Senior Community Manager, aka The Great Little Dictator, likewise misquoted me and falsely accused me of being unsatisfied with the current upgrades to our fitness center whilst I ve never, ever anyplace expressed any such sentiment.

In response then to my email protesting against this office flunky s pompous and condescending communication, Archstone Walnut Creek s Senior Community Manager, aka The Great Little Dictator, sent me her equally pompous and condescending letter falsely accusing me of harassment and idly threatening me with some ambiguous and vague legal action citing section F of their lease agreement, which for the record states:

MANAGEMENT EMPLOYEES. Archstone Communities Management is an equal opportunity employer and enforces a harassment free workplace. Resident, resident s family and guests agree not to harass, verbally abuse, denigrate, or otherwise disrespect Management s employees and contractors. Failure to abide by this policy may result in a termination of the lease.

Well, I ve got this news flash for all these hysterical little office flunky girls: if they really and truly honestly think that anything whatever contained in any of my emails, past or present, constitutes harassment then they don t know yet what harassment is. And if they really and truly honestly think that any of their idle threats of ambiguous and vague legal action terrify me in the least then all these hysterical little office flunky girls can think again! And if they really and truly honestly think that they can make a successful case against me in eviction court for any such harassment then all these hysterical little office flunky girls can in the immortal infamous last words of our bellicose and glorious warrior leader: then BRING IT ON!

But whilst you re pondering this challenge in the meantime, get this straight once and for all and get it good:

Archstone Apartments after just two years is already gouging us $1445 a month for an extremely limited-space one-bedroom apartment when its current website lists entry one-bedroom rent at $1340(we were socked for $1365 on move-in two years ago! Our monthly rent s been raised $40 twice in that time frame).

The bottom line here is: for that kind of gouging, NONE of you dare to presume to high-handedly berate, condescend to, lecture, reprimand or otherwise issue any of your dictates or edicts to ME not now, not ever. For that kind of gouging, we re not here either to bow or kowtow to ANY of you. You on the other hand are here to courteously and politely SERVICE US not the other way around.

And another thing you hysterical little girls ought to know: I m hardly intimidated by your idle threats to attend civil court far from it, I ll meet you there ANYTIME. Just try me.

Out of five(5)small claims court actions I ve brought in Alameda County over the years as PLAINTIFF I ve successfully prevailed in four(4)of those actions. Being a Florida police recruit graduate since 14 December 1981, nor am I intimidated by any idle implied threats of legal action of any other sort as well. You hysterical little girls just don t know who you re dealing with, though pester me further with your idle girly threats of ambiguous and vague legal action, and you re likely to find out as I ll answer any challenge you think you can wage. Talk is cheap, girls: and talking legal action is one thing, actually DOING it is quite another. And action is all about doing, not talking or chirping like little henpecked chicks.

RESPECT' Don t you ever and I mean, EVER presume to preach to me about respect, much less write me letters idly threatening legal action over patently false accusations of harassment thinking you can unlawfully infringe upon, usurp or otherwise violate my rights to free speech and expression in PRIVATE EMAILS responding to pompous and condescending communications INSTIGATED by your own customer service representatives.

RESPECT' Listen up all you hysterical little girls: respect is EARNED not granted by some ambiguous, vague and UNENFORCEABLE little clause or provision in your lease agreement. And as I ve already alluded, you EARN your respect not just by listening but rather by ACTING positively on the concerns of the residents YOU serve. You don t dare to dictate any terms to me as an Archstone tenant not now, not ever. Your idle, girly threats of ambiguous and vague legal action will never, ever suppress my expressions of opinion not here, not there, not ANYWHERE.

Unless or until these sentiments are most clearly understood by you and unless or until I start getting consistently treated by you with a great deal of deference and respect due to my seniority if nothing else then I just might be inclined to visit one by one every last Archstone Apartment rating website that I can find on the worldwide web where I shall promptly re-post this particular blog.

In fact, I m a digital, on-demand book publisher with the capacity of publishing book-length titles at internet bookstores like Amazon.com virtually overnight. Why, if pressed I might just be inclined to compose and publish an internet e-pamphlet on the AWFULNESS that is Archstone Apartments. And being a computer-, home-based operation, girls, I ve got lots and plenty of time to invest in doing just that. How much time and effort have you got to invest' So I say again: just try me.

ANY AND ALL TENANTS RIPPED OFF OR OTHERWISE SHAFTED BY ARCHSTONE APARTMENTS ARE HEREIN INVITED TO CONTACT ME DIRECTLY TO PARTICIPATE BY CONTRIBUTING TO THE PUBLISHING PROJECT PROPOSED ABOVE.

Finally, I strongly recommended in my email response to your customer service rep s pompous and condescending communication that some REMEDIAL READING work is perhaps in order for her evident inability to read, comprehend and act upon an excruciatingly simple appointment for an outstanding maintenance request(for a fully operable stove to replace the one in our apartment that s been repaired inadequately and impermanently multiple times)dating back now to 4 March 2008.

In that request s Special Instructions section I most politely wrote: Please confirm your earliest appointment with us present at home via email to: In the request s Resolution section this deliberately illiterate customer service rep falsely reported: Sent e-mail(per resident request)to set up appointment time to service stove/oven on 3/7, which is patently false as my request from the outset was to CONFIRM VIA EMAIL rather than waste time and effort to set up an appointment as setting up an appointment entails needless dickering over when their maintenance crew is next available to make a service visit. I ve resorted to this excruciatingly simple procedure for the entire past two years and now suddenly it becomes so terribly tough for these hysterical little girls to read and comprehend: confirm via email with overnight s notice when your maintenance crew is next available to come and I ll be ready and waiting for them preferably my favorite maintenance worker whom I always mention most favorably by name a procedure which bypasses the setting up part and works conspicuously both to their convenience and advantage since for the past two years I ve invariably confirmed maintenance appointments via email in precisely this manner.

Despite all that, this deliberately illiterate customer service rep in her pompous and condescending communication dated 11 March 2008 persists with asking as an afterthought: Also, when would you like to schedule a visit for the issues you re having with your stove/oven'

READ MY LIPS: WHEN YOU CONFIRM VIA EMAIL WITH OVERNIGHT S NOTICE THE NEXT TIME YOUR MAINTENANCE STAFF IS AVAILABLE AT THEIR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE.

As of 17 March 2008 Archstone Walnut Creek s shyster management has falsely marked that service Request Status as: Work Completed.

More, the Senior Community Manager, aka The Great Little Dictator herself, initialed falsely the service request s Resolution section as: Work order closed per .

And Archstone-Smith Trust, the parent company, has the unmitigated gall to post at its website Honesty and ethics amongst its company values to-wit:

We uphold the highest ethical standards and treat our customers and each other fairly and honestly. We take our commitments seriously and do what we say we are going to do. Without this, nothing else matters, because people want to do business with those they trust.

Archstone-Smith Trust was acquired 5 October 2007 by Tishman Speyer and Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc., which perhaps fosters such shyster practices.

Doctoring maintenance services requests, trumping up tenant lease agreement violations with false accusations of harassment to stifle and suppress vocal tenant complaints, deliberately distorted and misrepresented by ineffectual office functionaries such shyster practices are neither honest nor ethical nor shall such shoddy conduct be tolerated without just-due consequence and repercussion. And that s not just some idle girly threat of legal action. That s a PROMISE!

Oh, and by the way, this is the only notice that(I)will give regarding this behavior! I adamantly advise that you reply promptly via EMAIL for my convenience, not yours!

User Responses
From: Anonymous	Date: 03/21/2008
you're dumb. stop posting on stupid websites and get a REAL job. maybe you could actually afford to buy a house. or maybe... I know this is a ridiculous concept but... a treadmill of your VERY OWN to abuse and overuse? if they do buy a new treadmill they should charge you for making it break down.
From: Anonymous	Date: 03/21/2008
OMG, what kind of freaks are these people?! A... I didn't like it there either... But seriously- you guys need lives.
From: Anonymous	Date: 04/09/2008
My husband and I are moving here, we cant wait! I almost want to post how wonderful everything is JUST TO IRRITATE YOU. Get a life buddy, there are websites that can help with that...
From: Anonymous	Date: 04/13/2008
This person is psychotic. I would never have renewed his/her lease. I pity the office/maintenance staff that has to deal with them. If you are so up on the law you would know that CA law allows entrance to apartments for maintenance with 24 hours notice. You were given 48. If the exercise facilities state the hours of operation as 5 am to 11 pm then you should not be surprised to be asked to leave after 11 pm. If you didn't like the rules you should not have renewed your lease. You will not be happy in any apartment and even if you bought your own house, I'm sure you would start hassling your neighbors or city counsel. Get help.
From: Anonymous	Date: 04/21/2008
This lady has major issues. I would hate to be an employee for archstone and have to deal with such an idiot!
From: COVINOJR	Date: 01/14/2009
Respondent #1: This nonsensical comment boasts all the irrational earmarks of female illogic! I'm dumb for posting at the very same stupid website SHE's so dumbly posting at! Go figure! Bitter sour grapes as well since I work at home whilst she doubtless still works like a capitalist serf for somebody else! Why should I buy a house and treadmill so long as I'm residing at Archstone and PAYING extortionate RENT for the SERVICE of resorting to the RAT-TRAP of a treadmill provided, which THEY'RE supposed to repair and maintain in good working order? As this LIAR insinuates so ANONYMOUSLY I've never made that treadmill break down through either abuse or overuse. You can hardly abuse or overuse a PIECE OF JUNK THAT CONKS OUT BEFORE IT CAN EVEN BE USED AT ALL PROPERLY. Dumb-ASS! Respondent #2: Similar silly illogic: this without a life freak posting at the very same website preaching to us guys to get a life! Respondent #3: Now here's a real whacked-out NUT-case: somebody who's basing their apartment relocation plans on their freaky reaction to the posting of a single negative review posted at a website! Pretty rich not to mention funny, yet another without a life fruitcake posting at identical websites preaching get a life! Such cranks are incapable of grasping their own crazed self-contradiction, apparently. For all I care this crank could ROT TO DEATH at Archstone Walnut Creek and shall likely give it a damn good try! Respondent #4: If I'm psychotic this person's a SUPREME SIMPLETON practicing amateur psycho-therapy without a license!, especially when they comment so ineptly about what they're completely POWERLESS to control(like my lease renewed not once but TWICE thus far)! Not that anybody gives a flying hang what this person thinks but renewing my lease TWICE must make the Archstone Walnut Creek management psychotic too! In that respect I pity them as well! In point of FACT, for the benefit of this soundly IGNORANT IGNORAMUS, the so-called office staff has never had to deal with me except to renew my lease or hand over a held parcel as I've never even visited their office to bother or pester them! As for Archstone's largely Latino maintenance staff I happen to be very well liked and regarded personally by ALL I've come in contact with! That's precisely the reason why idly threatening me with ambiguous and vague legal action for trumped up violations of my lease agreement based upon false and groundless accusations of harassment is so absurdly ludicrous! Get it now, RETARD? As for this loon's equally unlicensed pseudo-legal practice concerning apartment entry by management consider this lease agreement clause which speaks volumes for itself, taking special notice of the word ABUSE: 'Notice. We will not abuse the right of entry and we will give you written notice 24 hours before entering the Premises except as provided by law.' You're not asked to leave the so-called fitness center after hours, you're RUDELY ORDERED to leave, RETARD! And for that I'm not being gouged $1445 per month in extortionate rent as a SERVICE-deserving tenant! Yeah, those Archstone lease consultants, so-called, are all PHONY-friendly smiles whilst they're trying to SUCKER you into signing their lease agreements, puffing up that shoddy fitness center as a dubious and unscrupulous selling point! Quite the contrary then those dislikable rules should be capitalized and clarified BEFORE signing their shyster lease rather than at renewal. If anybody needs to Get help it's somebody who makes impotent(albeit anonymous)attempts to offer amateur psycho-therapeutic advice to a perfect stranger at an internet website! Based upon that telling revelation alone I shall doubtless be a helluva lot more happy anyplace than this person ever will. Throughout the entire three-year term of my tenancy at Archstone Walnut Creek I haven't heard the first complaint from ANY of my neighbors about my hassling them! We can well wonder then whether this STUPID CLOD could claim the same! Respondent #5: This stupid IDIOT has even WORSE issues if she can't even get her GENDER right so she's likely UN-employable at Archstone or anyplace else! To reiterate: no Archstone employee has even HAD to deal with me as a rule at all! That's the ultimate irony of Archstone's idle threat of legal action!, provoked by a couple of incredibly innocuous emails! Get it now, RETARD?

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