I've lived here a year and a half, and it's not for the faint of heart. The roaches are firmly in control. I had a mouse in my apartment, and a girl was assaulted RIGHT outside my door a few months ago. There are muchos borrachos in and around, and I've had a few knock on my door at two in the morning. There's pee in the stairwell a lot (slippery AND stinky) which I use because the elevators are so slow and frequently broken. Getting in and out of the building is always a pain, especially with a load of stuff. The fat, proud residents of the Woodner take the elevators to go up and down even a single flight of stairs. The laundry room would be great if the machines worked, but about half don't, and it's hard for most people to tell their washer didn't have a rinse cycle or the drier's heater was broken until after the money's debited and possibly when you come down a half hour later, say at ten o'clock on a school night. I've had people ask my friends for money when they come to visit and the building generally scares my female acquaintances. My grandmother mistook most of my neighbors for prostitutes when she visited. Sometimes I come home and wonder what happened that requires thirty police cars. So why do I live here' The rent is rock-bottom. My apartment is sunny with a big window (installed two days ago), and I'm wicked close to everything. It's pretty quiet - but yes there is Latin Top 40 really loud Saturday and Sunday mornings especially. The bus is convenient, if often slow and crowded, but it only takes me fifteen minutes to bike downtown. I can walk to Adams Morgan or the Metro in less than fifteen minutes. The residents are pretty friendly and the building is diverse as hell, with everyone from Mormon missionaries to the Latin guy who sits in his wheelchair in the lobby all day and knows EVERYONE. The store is really convenient, and not much more overpriced that any other place (try Whole Foods). It's really great to be able to buy beer, wine, milk, steel wool, whatever you need. The laundromat is so nice to have, and they've always done a great job on my shirts. My apartment is small but adequate and maintenance has always been quick with requests. The pool, which I always thought would be disgusting, is really nice and not nearly as crowded as I'd envisioned. I use boric acid for the roaches (if you don't know what it is, google it and ask the pharmacist - it works wonders) and plugged the mouse hole (I liked the mouse until he started eating my plant). My kitchen is TINY, we're talking Barbie's Dream Kitchen here. I have to wash my wok in the bathtub. But I save a ton of money, and pay less in rent than people I know in similar apartments in places like Dover, Delaware and Richmond, Virginia. My friends in DC can't believe I don't have any utility bills, or that my apartment is several hundred dollars less in rent a month than their own. Choosing to live in the Woodner is all about your priorities. If you scream when you see bugs and can't deal with an elevator stuffed with recent immigrants that stops on every floor, pay more in rent and live someplace else. If you're single, know a little Spanish, and want your own apartment close to downtown and Northwest but don't want to pay half your salary in rent, try the Woodner.

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