If you miss the bustling metropolis of your little villa in old spanish harlem...well we have the pad for you. Here is your chance to come to prison without a record. Our best amenities include the following; cigarette butts and boxes, smashed beer bottles right at your front door, drunk neighbors with really cool ghetto radios with no sense of time.
If you're a do-it-yourselfer here's a nice fixer-upper. You'll be welcomed by the helpful hints of your neighbors you can hear through the rice paper walls and peg board floors. Never flush your toilet again !!....because it never stops flushing. Enjoy piping hot or room tempature food from your broken fridge.
Experience the feeling of the islands. From the third world staff. Learn new languages at the management office. All this and more for the low low rent of $600.00 for your own little shoebox in heaven.
Everytime I enter my abode I think how lucky I am to live on the dark continent and never have the states. All I need is a black mamba snake and a mango tree ! And I can save $1200.00 on a cruise.
Miss the serenity of the rain forest ' We have our own man made rain forest pointed right at your car from our state-of-the-art sprinkler system. This will not only remove bird feces from it but also chase the homeless people away that live in the parking lot.
Please pay no attention to the 2 year olds running around the complex...They are the maintenance crew.
Furthermore be advised that even the people who write some of these reviews cannot spell. Also be advised that all of the positive feedbacks listed here have been written by the management staff.

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