Alright guys, so I'm moving out of my apartment at Boardwalk, and I decided that for all the readers of this website, I thought I would sit down and write a nice review about all the things at Boardwalk that made it all worthwhile. You know, from a college kid, to a college kid. I'll even do this using real English spelling (and punctuation!)

First let me say this. You're going to be paying about 500ish a person to live in your apartment. There are 4 roommates. That's roughly 2 grand for 1 of these apartments. ROFL' I think so. You could get a mortgage on a house for less than half of that. You could get a REAL apartment for half of that. I bet you're thinking, "But I want all my utilities included in my rent and stuff and I'm a little noob that doesn't know any better." WRONG. You could get a 2 bedroom apartment somewhere else for about 900 dollars with the roommate you want to live with, and pay about 300 dollars more for all utilities. Divide that in half and you're paying almost what you're paying to live here. Think about that when you are wallowing in miser .... In joy .... for an entire year of your life. An entire year. Of your life. Completely. Wasted.

So let's start the checklist, starting from the outside.

Dumpsters - I often wonder why they are always full. Like, not full, but full full. As in, the dumpster and a 10 foot radius around it is mounded up with garbage. I guess sometimes the city forgets about Boardwalk, or maybe they are the rare Exponential Dumpsters, the kind that exponentiate garbage so that they are always overfilled. Or maybe no one gives a damn.

Parking - I've often heard of this phenomenon known as parking near your apartment. I've managed it once, and came out of my apartment in the morning to find my car in a spot not near where I parked. "HMMM," I thought to myself. Turns out that the crooks that pass as tow truck drivers "didn't see" my parking decal, and had towed my car. Realizing their error after TOWING MY GOD FORSAKEN CAR, they brought it back and dumped it in the fire lines. After calling them wondering WTF was going on, I was reprimanded because it was "hard to see" my parking decal.

....

Front door handle - Broken.

Front door in general - Large gap under the door that lets the AC out, was fixed by having a piece of wood strip looking thing nailed to the bottom' ....

Thermostat - Hmm... It's set at 85, why is it so god forsakenly cold in here' Oh, because it's broken.

Carpet - Stained and pulled up, and a nice puke stain in the living room to boot!

Sofa - Well our sofa has had a broken leg on it since we moved in ... last August.

Washer - Stopped spinning'

Dryer - takes 2 full cycles to dry a load of laundry. Super efficient!

Stove - 2/4 burners broken. But I like the one broken burner, when you go to use it, it starts sparking and stuff and you're all like "Wow that's super cool!"

Kitchen floor - Well I do enjoy how great my kitchen looks, seeing as about half the damned tiles on the floor are cracked in half. Wait, that doesn't look good at all....

I also enjoy the view that the Research Park office buildings have of my kitchen and/or personal space. Hey dood on the third floor of that office building' How's it going'

Bed - Oh you'll love the new beds they've put in the apartments. Well, that is, if you love unforgiving vinyl cots that college students will have a hard time wrecking. These mattresses are like the indestructible training piss pads that are given to retarded little kids so mommy can just wipe the pee of the vinyl covered wooden crate you're sleeping on. Perhaps if I enjoyed sleeping on the floor or a hard slab of stone, or perhaps the rocky incline of a mountain, but had wanted to elevate myself up a little bit so I was a few feet off of the ground, this would be my preferred bed.

OHHH my favorite part: Roommates. All I have to say about their "Matching" System is:

zOMGROFLMAOLOLOLOLOMGBBQCHICKEN!!!oneoneoneone that is the biggest joke I have ever witnessed in the history of my meaningless life. When you fill out your likes and dislikes so they can match you to a roommate, you might as well throw darts at the form and give it to your dog to piss on, then do everyone a favor and crumple it up for them, because that's the only way I can see how I managed to be paired up with the people I got. OMG I love listening to your DAMNED RAP POUNDING THROUGH THE PAPER THIN WALLS FOR 10 HOURS AT A CLIP!!! EVERY GOD FORSAKEN DAY! Not at 10 PM on a Saturday night. Not Friday night during a party. How about 2PM to Midnight that Tuesday before the big test'' I didn't have it as bad as my buddy I lived with. The kids sub was right against his wall and pounded the hell out of him all day long. I didn't think I would ever meet my polar opposite until I moved in at Boardwalk Apartments. Now if I ever become a super hero, I'll know just who my arch enemy is.

To anyone who has read this far, wtf is wrong with you' That was a really long rant and I think you got the point after the first few sentences.

I've thoroughly enjoyed my stay here at Boardwalk.

User Responses
From: hwpbigworm	Date: 05/05/2006
Ok so having never lived in Boardwalk, I can't respond to most of your post but one thing irked me. $900 $300 = $1200. Divide that by 2 and you get $600. So a regular 2 bedroom apartment is not cheaper than Boardwalk. You're in college?
From: litho23	Date: 06/11/2006
but you don't have to go though all the crap associated with it, noob, he has many valid points and (true) points cause i have lived there also. and lets actuall see boardwalk makes you pay what 525-550 so times 4 that is over 2 grand geeze all four of you could be getting a 4 bedroom, "house with a garage for that much!"
From: Anonymous	Date: 03/17/2007
I loved your rant. I totally agree with all of it. I have lived here for 2 years and I'm on my way out! I can't wait!!!

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