Come one, come all!! All outsiders are welcome to come swim in our pool! Also, you can enjoy the convenience of changing your baby's diaper in the pool. That's right, IN THE POOL. No baby wipes needed. Simply use the once clean chlorinated water. Also, feel free to relieve yourself while swimming. I spent hours laying out watching the swarm of outsiders and no one seemed to use the bathroom right around the corner. I guess since they don't live here they don't realize that there is a bathroom.
Also, join us for loud drunken skinning dipping at 2:00 in the morning on Fridays and Saturdays. Don't worry about me, I don't need any sleep. So, grab a towel and some lotion but be sure you have health insurance. Sorry, I won't be joining you, BUT the brown thing at the bottom of the pool (that looks like a Baby Ruth candy bar) will be.

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