Crestwood Condominiums
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A quaint hidden slum on the Outskirts of Des Plaines
From: -Anonymous-Date posted: 2/24/2008
Years at this apartment: 2007 - 2008
Aw, beautiful Creastwood, how I will miss thee. It seems like only yesterday I walked out my broken front door, that the maintenance staff refused to fix, into the trash filled courtyard. Summers were fun as the nice little seemingly retarded children ran up and down that courtyard screaming at the top of their lungs and beating the side of my unit with a metal pipe. I apologize to the little boy who started to tear up when I asked him to please stop banging on my apartment with that pipe. He looked sad to hear the news that this might bother someone, this is how I know he must have been mentally handicapped.
Winter was great, excellent in fact. They build a real sense of camping out and for an outdoors man like me this wonderful. The heat stopped working on multiple occasions which prompted the staff to eventually get out there a few days later. In that time the leaky windows filled my house with charming cold air. This gave me the opportunity to be creative by using my oven to reheat the entire apartment.
Once in the summer the water completely stopped working, maybe this were the ants that I killed throughout my apartment getting back at me. My neighbors were extremely wonderful people, I say this because I could hear every single conversation they ever had through the walls which I believe must have been made from construction paper and paint.
When you're ready to rent (or buy!) your next Condo here please make haste in calling the nice fat women who look like men in the office. They will ignore anything you say to them past signing the lease.
Needless to say my year in Prison has finished and I've learned a lot of survival techniques. Crestwood was a great time as I was able to fully experience the way Chicago's absolute trashiest human beings lived, worked and breathed; without having to drive all the way into creepy parts of city. If you are completely retarded, or like people who are, Call Today!
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