How do I even begin'

The day I moved in, I found a dead mouse in my refrigerator and another in my stove. Don't they have pest control here'

I called the office and told them I wanted to move to another apartment or be released from my lease. They said they would bring me new appliances, but I had to stay in the apartment. They brought me a dorm room refrigerator because they said regular size refrigerators were on back order. The maintenance man told me it was basically the same as a regular size fridge because of today's technology and things being made much smaller. What the hell does that mean'

They got rid of the mice for me, but then 3 weeks later, my bathroom ceiling caved in and drywall and junk fell into my bathtub. And when I say junk, I mean stuff that looks like it could be dead animal or human parts. There were bits of rotten parts hanging from the ceiling and you couldn't even stand to go into the bathroom and look at this huge gaping hole. It took them nearly a month to fix the ceiling.

But it gets better. The day I'm moving in, I go to put stuff in my closet, and find someone's collection of Penthouse and Playboy magazines, along with some videotapes that I wasn't about to watch, if you get my meaning. One of the titles had something to do with Trannies going Wild. ''

Meanwhile, I have a crazy neighbor who thinks it's a good idea to hang onto old antifreeze, and leaves it on his patio in large containers. Who does that'''!!! Seriously, who does that''

Animals come up and think it's something sweet and a deer drank some and crawled over onto my patio and died!! I'm not going out there and picking up a dead deer. Now, I can't even open my blinds because the deer died in such a way that it is looking in at me. My nieces and nephews won't come over because they think I killed Bambi. They used to come over and watch the DVD but now they won't come over at all. Who can blame them' It took the maintenance staff a week to come and get rid of this dead deer. And what do they try to haul it off in' Three of them carry it off to what I thought appeared to be a cream yellow 1982 Plymouth Horizon. They just opened the hatch and threw it in and and tried to take off. One of the deer's legs was hanging out of the back. It had been raining, and they get stuck in the mud, and it took them two hours to get unstuck. They left such huge craters in the yard that I don't think it'll ever grow back. They finally got unstuck and sped away but I don't even want to know what they did with the deer. Those guys looked like something out of Deliverance.

There's some elderly woman, I don't even know if she lives here or not, but she rides around in a Hoveround and yells at people when they go to get their mail, and accuses adults and little kids of stealing from her. She throws stuff at people when they try to defend themselves and then speeds away in her motor chair.

I didn't want to mention this, but during my morning excursions, there is a woman who appears to have Down Syndrome who lives across the street and hangs out in the parking lot, presumably waiting for some kind ride. She stands there doing nothing except eating from a box of Fiddle Faddle and waving at people as they go by. I assure you, I am not making this up. There is a retarded woman standing in the parking lot in the mornings eating Fiddle Faddle.

My lease isn't up for another 4 months and I'm counting the days until I can get the hell out of here.

Do yourself a huge favor and stay the hell away from this nightmare.

User Responses
From: Anonymous	Date: 09/11/2007
Dude...I love this. You are now my hero. Officially...today. AHAHA!

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