I know, The ad sounds really nice. It makes you want to live there right' Well, Here is what the ad really means.

At Four Seasons Villa we take your needs seriously.

At Four Seasons Villa we take your needs seriously, Unless they require any work by us or our workers. This includes unneeded paperwork (Like receipts) Fixing holes in the hallways, Or things in your apartments that happen due to *Our* neglect.


Experience our first rate professional office management and our expert maintenance team.

Our Team will repeatedly act like you are stupid and only they can be right. If on the phone, Will hang up on you, If in person, Acts Cold or Friendly. Think of a person with Bipolar, Hot cold hot cold hot cold.


Come home to the quiet relaxation of Four Seasons Villa where our caretaking staff will provide a spotless community.

Quiet noises for you to relax too including your neighbors blasting music at all hours of the nights, tenants having sex (With one or more other person!), Firecrackers off the balcony, and police coming and pounding at doors 24-7. As far as spotless, Please ignore the smell of rotting garbage in our halls, This only happens 50% of the month. The rest of the time it smells like urine or feces, from any sort of living creature.


Private and luxurious, this is a haven with numerous amenities.

Don't expect a Garbage disposal, Dishwasher, or your privacy. Expect Early morning wake ups when a maintenance person gets up rather early and just walks right in. Or expect a 10pm visit of just walking in. We believe this is our right and just a courtesy to you as you did call us 3 days ago about the huge hole in your bathroom wall from it rotting out.


There are social activities to assist you with meeting your new neighbors.

Activities include: Orgies, Drug purchase plans, Running from 10 armed police men, Oh and we can't forget watching the BOMB SQUAD in front of your building! To bad you'll miss that one as we forgot to tell you and you were on your way to work and couldn't stop to enjoy it!


Four Seasons Villa is also perfectly located near major freeways with access to downtown, shopping, medical facilities, and recreation.

Close to 169, With access to the bright and shiny ghetto of Plymouth. Please ignore the trash all over and the crappy stores, It's a work in progress. Soon we shall have a full blown slum if we're lucky!


Available for your convenience is an outdoor pool, a picnic/BBQ grill area, and 20 acres of pampered grounds.

An outdoor pool that *Might* be open part of the summer, Otherwise it's filled with disgusting contaminated water from children wearing diapers in it. It may be considered a health hazard, But don't worry we'll fix it in a week or two. Our 20 acres are decorated with dog piles, In pet area, or wherever. Don't worry on that though, We send out a identical forum letter threating every few weeks about that.


Experience the ease of deluxe apartment living amid this beautifully landscaped apartment community.

Your in for a surprise living here! It's a major upgrade from living in that cardboard box. We even have running water (Sometimes)! We have some grass that makes our landscaping so nice, and in the winter we have a nice heavy snow covering every foot of our property, Don't worry we try not to disturb it.


You'll have the time to pursue your interests while enjoying maintenance-free living.

Maintenance-free as in we refuse to do anything... We can pretend but we're just faking it. Your new refurbished AC is the one we just pulled out of your neighbors. It cooled there place so you have your choice of 100 weather or the sound of your own private jet in your living room, Enjoy!


Call Four Seasons Villa today for further information about our affordable priced apartment homes.

Affordable as in we only raise it between $50 and $100 each time you renew. We try to keep prices down, But all these fake and bake tanks get expensive dang it!


I hope this helps you in understanding the ad so you don't fall for it like we did!

User Responses
From: MimiTortuga	Date: 10/10/2007
Awesome! I could not agree more.
From: Anonymous	Date: 01/28/2008
I love coming back here just to read this review! It's such a gas! SO SO TRUE!!!

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