Lincoln Heights Apartments are great for ameteur and professional entomologists alike. What the roaches lack in size, they make up for in volume. And that's just the kitchen, ladies and gentlemen. In your bathroom, you're likely to find spiders the size of quarters, and on special occasions you may even find six inch centipedes crawling in your bed. But wait, there's more! If you like indoor pools, there's a good chance that after you return from a hard day at work your apartment will be one. I know what you're asking yourself. "If I come home to a flooded apartment will the 24 hour maintenance crew be available'" Rest assured that they will be exactly as responsive as they were when it took two months to get your air conditioner fixed. That brings us to another great Feature of Lincoln Heights Apartments. Saunas are no longer solely for the wealthy. Rent the apartment above the water heater, and not only will it flood your apartment and destroy your stuff, it will also ensure that in those sweltering summer months your apartment is at least fifteen degrees hotter than it is outside. Talk about a great scheme to get your girlfriend's clothes off. Furthermore, the low cost of renting is a great way to save up money for the lawsuit you'll soon have to file against your dead beat landlord.
For those of you who may be wondering, I am not embellishing because there is no need to embellish. These apartments are awful. DO NOT MOVE IN TO LINCOLN HEIGHTS APARTMENTS. If you don't think you can afford anything better, you probably can't afford to have all of you things damaged by flooding. I've often wondered why a person would purchase flood insurance in a city with an average annual precipitation of 9.47 inches. I guess I know now.

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