(Repost for those who may have missed it)

This is the third review I've written on the complex. Each time I write one, my others disappear. I hope I cover it all this time:

Here is an ode to the complex, from the bottom of my heart:


A: A is for the appliances that all seem to break at some point during my stay.


B: B is for the Bathtub that poured scalding hot water on my feet when I was showering due to a malfunction in the hot water nozzle. It only took 3 months to fix this.


C: C is for the Ceiling that I expect to give way any day now. It's been bowing in more and more in the guest bathroom, and I'm eager to see what our neighbors upstairs keep in their bathroom.


D: D is for the Dishwasher that leaks on the kitchen floor. Once that was fixed (1 month), it decided to start falling out of the counter completely (1 more month). Now it's taking the corn we put down the garbage disposal and melting it to the dishes as it washes them. Awesome.


E: E is for Exercise Equipment. CSA has two treadmills, and one has been unusable since the early november ("ever so sweet..."), one of the two elliptical machines doesn't have anywhere to put your feet, and there are only 10 machines TOTAL for over 1000 apartments (no exaggeration).


F: F is for Freezing. This is how you feel when standing next to one of your windows on a cold day due to the amazing construction.


G: G is for the Gun our neighbor has, and openly carries. Great. G is also for Gunshots. We hear these on occasion.


H: H is for Hot-tub. Aren't these usually ... hot' It's not. It's cold. There is no dial to make it hot, either.


I: I is for the Ice Maker that creates disgusting ice. It tastes old. I didn't know ice could taste old.


J: J is for Joke. That's what this place is. Sadly, the joke is on me.


K: K is for Killers. This is a staple for the Memphis area, but they have more of a chance at our complex, as the police take (no exaggeration) 3 to 5 hours to arrive. I sure feel safe. CSA: Killer welcome!


L: L is for Light. The light outside our apartment was out for upwards of 3 months. This is very unnerving when you live in the most dangerous city in the world, and you can't even see your door, or who could be hiding near it with their gun (I will guess my neighbor).


M: M is for Maintenance. CSA has the absolutely worst maintenance I've EVER experienced. Not only are they open from 9-4PM (making it impossible to call them when you get home from work), but it takes between 2 and 3 months for them to come out and "fix" something. During this time, they will probably mess something else up (i.e., track mud all over the carpet, remove flooring, etc). This is NO exaggeration. I'm not blaming the maintenance guys either, really. I blame the apartment complex for sucking so bad and always breaking that the guys they have aren't enough.


N: N is for the Noise. At all hours of the night, our neighbors are playing music, fighting, getting sick, etc. We hear it all.


O: O is for Oven. Cook your chicken on 350 for 7 minutes, and you shouldn't expect to have the outside burned and the inside frozen, should you' You'd be wrong.


P: P is for Parking. Not only is there no covered parking, but if you get in late from work, oh well. You'll have to make the same voyage Moses did in the desert to get to the Promised Land. P is also for Pack a lunch.


Q: Q is for Quit. Did you know it costs $1200 to break your lease here'


R: R is for the Refrigerator. I believe this is the only thing that came in the apartment that hasn't broken. R could also be for Rape. Pick your favorite.


S: S is for Sinks. The kitchen sink, when being scrubbed one day, decided to start PEELING AWAY! Why is this odd' Because it's a stainless steel sink. Not only did it start peeling away, but it created a black goo that smelled of elderberries. Also, our bathroom sink just ... exploded one day. We weren't even near it. This only took 3 weeks to fix.


T: T is for Termite damage. Do I need to go on' We'll probably be blamed for this.


U: U is for Useless. This applies to (a) maintenance (b) cabinet space and (c) complaining about neighbors.


V: V is for Valued. This is how CSA makes you feel before you move in. They'll call and be your best friend. Then, you lose all sort of value to them as a friend, and become a rent check.


W: W is for water. Someone told me that Memphis city water is supposed to be the best in the US. Apparently, I live in Memphis city district, but I get my water imported from New Orleans. It smells of poo.


X: X is for Xcellent (I know, I know...) grounds. We live in the back of the complex, so everything just kinda goes to crud out here. They treat us like we're the West Memphis of the facility.


Y: Y is for You. This will be the person you will want to kick when you move in... yourself.


Z: Z is for Zoo. You wouldn't believe the bug infestation we've gone through here at CSA. Spiders, mosquitoes, millipedes. If locusts and frogs come next, I'm outta here.

Please do yourself a favor and look elsewhere. Yes, it has a GREAT location in Cordova, but pay the extra few dollars and look elsewhere.
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User Responses
From: betjwint	Date: 09/04/2007
Oh, my gosh. We had the same oven issue: Burns everything. Almost as if it is permantly set on 500 degrees (no matter what temperature you put it on) It was like that the first day we moved it. We asked them to fix it and a few weeks later we came home and the whole stove (oven and cooktop) didn't work at all (and the repair man didn't even bother to push it back against the wall when he was done)! 2 weeks later the entire stove "worked" again, but the oven still burnt everything. Didn't think it was worth the hassle after that!
From: Anonymous	Date: 09/24/2007
i'm sorry for all the BS that you've had to deal with, but i just have to say that your review was very amusing! you should have a column!
From: Anonymous	Date: 01/31/2008
i am lol at this! sorry you had all the probs - my "review" is the one right before yours - if you read it you know that ive had alot of probs as well - we only have TWO WEEKS left in that hellhole & we are soooo excited - our new place is like a mansion compared to cs!! im still PISSED that we have to pay the WHOLE MONTHS rent in a few days - even though we are only staying for HALF of FEB ANNNND we gave a full months notice - luckily my bf's work is paying the $1200 EARLY TERMINATION FEE - what a bs company!! :(
From: lasilke	Date: 09/02/2008
W can also be for whuss or why don't u carry a gun also since u live in the most dangerous city in the world but u fault your neighbors for protecting themselves?
From: HawkTeflon	Date: 09/23/2008
"whuss" isn't a word
From: thumbs_down_country_squire	Date: 10/28/2008
I agree with you 100% on your review! Unfortunately my husband and I lived there 4 years. The last year was the worst! After they changed managers, the place went down hill fast. We have since moved a year ago this month and are much happier where we now reside in Cordova. Here goes my ABC review: A: Alot of noise from college room mates downstairs. Why would you rent to 2 college students? All they gonna do is PaRtY! B:Bible is what you are going to need to pray every night you are there that you survive another day. Beware of the crime! C:Cockroaches. Especially if you live on the water. Just watch your step at night. D:Don't live there. E:Energy, what you won't have being you have to park so far away from your front door. F:Frightful at night due to limited lighting. G:Gross bathtubs. H:Help,which is what you won't get at CSA. I:Idiots. Enough said. J:Journey, again, how far are you willing to walk to your front door? K:King. You will be made to feel like the king of your domain when you tour but put that King signature on a lease and you are de-crowned! L:Laugh, what maintenance will do in your face when you ask them to put the handicap sign back up that people keep knocking down. M:Mildew. N:Night Crawlers. Need I say more? O:Old appliances P:Pissed off is what you will be when you get forgot about after having your carpet ripped up and not replaced for almost 2 weeks due to a water heater bursting. Q:Queezy is how you will feel after smelling the nasty mold and mildew. R:Rotten food in the garbage disposal that never works. S:Say good-bye to CSA! T:Terrible Office, Management, and Maintenance Staff! U:Unbelievable rent price increase. Mine went up 50 bucks the last year I was there. Wasn't going to get scammed a second time! V:Victory is what you will have after you leave CSA! W:Words can't explain how bad CSA is! X:eX-resident which is what I am happy to be! Y:Yucky Aparments! Z:Zone, a crime zone. My car got broke into twice and my neighbors car got stolen. This was fun! Great idea!

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