"Providing Unparalleled Service" reads the business card of the apartment property Windsor at Barton Creek. Located on the southwest hill of bee caves road and mopac, the Windsor at Barton Creek has lived up to this promised service for 1.3 years??as Liberian torture camps fall just below reaching the plane of service which parallels that provided by the Windsor. "Immerse yourself in the elegant lifestyle" says the property?s homepage??..elegant, it?s a controversial word in the Windsor?s context??does elegant mean a hole the size of a Volkswagen in my closet which spews moldy rotten egg/dead animal carcass smell when my roommate showers??or does elegant mean 2 holes that drip water/sewage which have "been taken care of" numerous times in the ceiling of my bathroom??wait, maybe it means coming home to 3 inches of water filling your entire apartment caused by the genius of a repairman who ?forgot? to tighten the valve after fixing the toilet that morning. "Designed for those who appreciate the best"??the best huh?..maybe it?s the best to a person stranded at sea wearing a floatey tube with his arms tied behind his back while a seagull with teeth sharp as a butter knife gnaws the skin on his inner thighs?..why inner thighs, b.c he?s upside down?.with his head underwater and his only source of oxygen is a face-mask connected to a tube which leads to the minced large intestine smell in my closet just after my roommate takes a shower everyday?.so yeah, that guy would fall under the category of "appreciates the best" and may even not hate living at the Windsor at Barton Creek.



This is a list of the quality that goes on at the Windsor:



1. August 2002 -- 5 ft wide puddles in my closet that reek of rotting fish ??. Repairman came by during the day and told us he couldn?t find a problem?.he was checking the wrong bathroom. Contractors "repair" the wall 2 months later??it doesn?t leak again until March 2003, impressive.



2. October 2002 -- I came home at 8pm to 3 inches of water throughout the house?..luckily we have concrete floors?..a steady flow of water spurts from the wall behind the toilet thanks to the great repairman work??somehow we tricked them into coming over late night and pumping the water out of our house. We gave the nice workers a beer?.they smiled and left laughing b.c they stole some of my cds.



3. March - June 2003 -- we call twice a week to report the smell?..they always let us know that somebody?s already been by and everything was ?taken care of??..the smell was ?gone?. We always say?.?no, it?s not gone, it?s still here???then they say, ?no, says here we fixed it???arguing with the residents, do we live in the projects Supa' So we?re calling you and telling lies' Ridiculous



4. May 2003 -- My roommate scheduled a meeting, 12:30 one afternoon, to show the repairman and the property manager Janet (she?s a sweetie) that we haven?t been lying about the scalding human flesh smell in my closet??at 1:15 we walked up to the office and asked what the story was?.the little helper said "oh, janet?s not here?.and the repairman, he?s up in roundrock"??.yeah, thanks for calling?.or walking your lazy sac of fun down to our apt to tell us of this mishap. We both had to take a 2hr lunch that day ?. For nothing



5. July 2003 -- A/C goes out??it?s replaced in a short 5 days?.good thing it?s not hot in texas. We just received an electrical bill for $200?..usually it runs $75?..that?s b.c the repairmen ran the broken AC everyday for 5 days. Guess who won?t reimburse us'



6. July 2003 -- I called the office this morning to speak with sunshine herself?.janet assures me that they received my key-release written notice 3 weeks prior and that they will let the washer/dryer service man in today to take the units back as we?re moving this weekend (finally). Then Janet scolds me for not giving her my phone number b.c they?ve been trying to call us the past couple of weeks and just don?t have our phone numbers??guess what Janet, it?s on the lease?.maybe you have a copy. At 2pm I was called, not by Janet, but by the washer/dryer leasing company saying ?we?re going to need to reschedule your appliance pickup and charge you for our useless trip this afternoon to your apt??..Janet wouldn?t let them in my apt b.c?..she said she didn?t have a key to open the apt door (lie, she?s been showing our apt)??she?s the property manager, isn?t that her job?.keeping track of keys to the doors that reside on the property she?s so diligently managing' Janet?.she?s a jack of all trades?..she takes care of business.



In summary?..if any of your friends want to pay the cost of living in a nice house with an owner that has vested interest in maintaining the house?.but instead desire to pay too much for the "elegant lifestyle" of living in a dark dumpster used by an elephant dung refinery in eternal august?..breathing out of a straw and having the flies collect your rent paid in pennies glued to your skin with the molasses miss janet drains from her ears?..the Winsdor at Barton Creek is the place for you and your friends.

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