Who needs reality TV when you can live at Tuscanny villas'... It's part Fear Factor, part Survivor, all unbelievable...

THIS WEEK ON FEAR FACTOR: Watch as "contestants" compete to see who can cultivate the most mold in their apartment before the staff does anything about it (2 years and counting). You'll be sitting on the edge of your seat as your neighbors brave the land mine (read dog feces) infested grass with their bare feet and still others risk losing a finger trying to extract one of those little plastic poop bags from the dispensers (they call these dispensers an amenity... too bad you can't get any bags out of them). In the show's finale, residents must somehow get their cars out of the parking lot while the gates open and close with reckless abandon, sometimes not opening at all. (caution: this show contains dangerous and disgusting scenes not suitable for all veiwers.)

TONIGHT ON SURVIVOR: Watch as the cast attempts to survive an entire 13 month contract in the dangerous, untamed wilderness of Tuscanny Villas. Who will fall victim to the green, alge infested waters of the Tuscanny Swamp' (and here I thought I would have "pool" veiw). Who will survive actual face to face contact with the mysterious maintinence crew' And who will be voted off by this month's management staff' (the management company changes every 3 months or so). These questions and many, many more will be revealed in this season's biggest hit... SURVIVOR PLANO. THE TUSCANY PROJECT.

Don't change that channel yet... It's time for this year's biggest hit: TWO GUYS, A GIRL AND A FAMILY OF RATS. This one is sure to be fun for the whole family. Laugh out loud as a family of normal hard working humans are forced to share their home with a family of newly relocated New York sewer rats. Things are crazy enough for this family, but when the Rat's move in all bets are off. "Honey, what happened to that box with all our wedding and baby pictures in it' It looks destroyed." "Oh darling don't be silly, it's not destroyed... the Rats used all that stuff to build themselves a nest under the old entertainment center in the garage. I guess they needed a place to create their own memories... isn't that funny'" If that didn't get you rolling wait until you find out what hilarity ensues when the humans try to get the management staff to remove the Rats. "Honey, did the maintinence crew ever come by to get rid of the Rats'" "I don't know... I've never seen the maintinence crew." Cue laugh track. "No seriously, I think they came by and put some mouse traps down." "You mean those tiny little green things with rat feces all over them' Have they seen how BIG our rats are'!!!" After 4 months of trying to get the Rats removed, our family of humans gives up and decides to make friends with their furry house guests. "Honey, you should have seen the Rats today! They are so wonderful to have around... they're not scared of us anymore and the big one is really funny. Why just today he came by the kitchen to let me know we have roaches and that he was afraid that might not be healthy for his children. I said 'Now you know how we feel!' We had a great laugh. Now, how do we avoid contracting rabies or the Bubonic Plague'..." Cue laugh track.

All sarcasm aside. I have been an excellent resident at Tuscany Villas. I have never paid my rent late, I renewed my lease after a year (can't figure out why) and even refered a total of 5 new residents (when we first moved in). I don't throw parties and I pick up after my dog 100 percent of the time. In the last year this place has literaly gone to the rats. We have been asking to have the rats removed from the garage (attached) since August... they are still there. I have written letters and even threatened to call a local TV station and the management staff didn't even attempt to call me and talk about the problem.

This is a poorly run property that I would not recomend to my worst enemy. Of course if you like mold, dog poop, an unresponsive staff and of course BIG FRICKEN RATS then this is the place for you.

Your thoughts? Post a response to this review. Display my response: with my username anonymously Responses appear below reviews and one response per user is permitted.

   Free estimates on moving trucks      Find apartment share/roommates