Reasons to rent here' Hmmm...let me think...hmm...I'm still thinking...oh yes!...if you like it up the @$$!

Bottom-line don't rent here unless you enjoy rampant theft by incompetent maintenance staff and seedy ineffectual management, unprofessional treatment and a whole host of other reasons that will render your experience on par with Afghani residence (without the international humanitarian aid). Yes, I did say theft! It would be Breaking & Entering (B&E), however, you have to drop the 'B' since they have the same keys you do and plausible deniability. I have since installed a closed circuit video camera so that I can tell the police specifically who to give a good'ol'fashion Virginia beating to. ...hopefully Alexandria PD will let me join in the tussle.

Whether indoors or outdoors, you're surrounded by characters likely to be on 'Fox Special Report.' The neighborhood is definitely not an area to go fly a kite.

Albeit there is an underground parking garage, the spots are so tight, that even in a compact sedan you feel like you are going through the motions of parallel parking. This also means that you best take your dealer up on the reinforced door-ding strip proofing treatment on top of MSRP or your vehicle doors will look much like the face of Mike Tyson's opponents.

If you like Chicago winters and high electric bills in the summer you'll feel right at home inside your apartment due to the absolute lack of weather insulation.

I will now rant some more: toilets that don't flush the goods (and I'm a vegetarian); dishwashers that don't wash (mmmm...I like the taste tofu mixed in with encrusted cottage cheese); dryers that don't dry (my guess is that you don't want to see me in a thin wet T-shirt); smelly neighbors (I thought boars weren't permitted as pets in the building'); lack of hot water (yes, I have a problem with shrinkage); incessant infernal construction noise while now almost completely erected means Vampires would find my room a haven due to its dependence on artificial light; noise from passerbys who would rather not pass by, but hang around and chat with their so-called 'homies' in a language that I've been told is categorized as 'ebonics'; tap water...well let's just say they tell you to drink bottled water in Mexico for a reason; apartment layouts that were probably designed by a contortionist; towel holders that have an aversion to the wall in which they were installed; cabinets that don't close (I was not born in a barn); security key cards that don't work and really secure you outside the building; a pool that was probably furnished by fisher price; I'd continue, but I'm distracted by the constant flushing of toilets by my neighbors (...they have to clean up after that boar...).

After all that you'd think, why I don't just break the lease and move out of the third world' Well, I'm paying through the nose and you have to sack two month's rent to bail...I'm not Bill Gates yet, I feel more like the employees at Enron...I have to sleep on my back in order to avoid a sore....

Above all, the element that makes this place as sour as it can be is the piss poor Para-dig-m management and their staff. Beyond stealing from their patrons, they are simply unprofessional and rude, even when they are trying to be nice. The new building manager is actually a very nice and professional person but the manager's total impotence to take any managerial action and discipline the staff decompensates the manager's credibility and leads me to believe that their outward professionalism is simply a production. The assistants are even worse in that they will always-direct hostility towards you albeit you're just wishing them a good morning. Simply disreputable. Not to mention maintenance staff who probably couldn't maintain a D average on their GED exam and therefore can't read the labeled fix-it instructions. ("This way up," read by them, "Me fail English, that's unpossible.")

Will I be residing here once my lease is up' You needn't ask.

Do yourself a favor, your wallet, your sanity, stay away and don't get trapped.

People are fleeing here for a reason. If you're an economist, you're thinking 'wow, that means, based on the laws of supply and demand, that rents will drop'...you're forgetting one thing however...these laws only work with rational players...and the people behind this operation are as far from that as humanly possible.

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