Resident · 2015 - 2017
Are you unemployed, chain smoke cigarettes, sell/use illicit hardcore drugs and party 'til the sun comes up with no consideration for you neighbors? Then Grandview Apartments is the place for you! A quaint commune-like community nestled inconspicuously next to the high end properties on Neptune will be sure to crush and hopes of getting a good night sleep or avoiding lung cancer from second hand smoke that fills any apartment with open windows. Please do not expect any communication from Management, as they haven't replaced the batteries in their hearing aids since Woodstock and are typically a bottle deep by the time you return from work in the evening. A nice added bonus is that water is paid for by the property but it is advised that you bring it to a boil before consuming or risk facing a vicious case of Montezuma's revenge. The on-site laundry room really ties together all of the amenities but be prepared to wait in line as everyone and their brothers come from near and far to utilize the facilities. Finally, make sure to lock your doors, but don't worry if you forget because the only thing missing when you get back will be the beer or liquor in your fridge.