Harbor Verde Apartments
Resident • 2006 - 2011 Not Recommended
If you want to live in a SLUM where the power goes out regularly and the water gets shut off monthly, this is the place for you! Don't like the manager? No worries, he/she will likely change in a few months. Want to customize your car to add some character? Just leave it parked in your assigned spot and you are sure to have it pelted with awesome golf balls that leave a great impression. If all of that isn't enough, just imagine wading through the sewage that often comes up from the depths to pool in the parking lot. All of this and more can be yours for an ever increasing rent if you act now. Hurry, don't let the pedophiles and that guy I saw toting an AK-47 beat you to the punch. Move in before the next sporting event and you might be able to catch the live post game fight on the first floor. Even if you do miss the fight don't worry, you'll surely be able to marvel at all the blood smeared on the walls on ground... or you can just be entertained by the sound of your neighbors going to the bathroom! When you apply make sure to ask if there are any vacancies in the building with the crazy old man on the second floor who screams and curses the "stupid [email protected] %ing Americans" at 2:00am. If you get in there you may even be able to witness someone slit their wrist right in front of you. Also if you like surprises you'l really love it when the "maintenance guy" barges into your apartment while you are in the shower. Yes ladies and gentlemen Harbor Verde, as it is now called (stupid name change by the way) and all of it's amenities can be yours to enjoy in privacy since your guests will have no place to park unless they are lucky enough to get that one spot in front of the RV that someone lives in.
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