Kensington Village Apartments
Resident • 2005 - 2007 Not Recommended
While I was a responsible tenant, paying my bills and never causing trouble, I was bent over multiple times by the fascist management and staff of Kensington Village. I moved here because it was moderately cheap and near my college. This was a poor decision. Here are my top ten reasons why you should not live here based on my own and all of my fellow "inmates" experiences.<br>1)The village manager missed his calling as a ----. Trust me, they will be your best friends while showing the apartments, but as soon as you sign you will be amazed at the personality difference.<br>2)Do you like your car? I do. Perhaps it is living in the ------. Perhaps it is that Kensington offers no security. DO NOT PARK YOUR CAR HERE. Every week in the parking lot you will walk by the latest victim of a brick through their window or missing wheels.<br>3)Do you like your stuff? I do. Thats why I bought it. Someone else liked it too. Thats why they took it while I was gone. Still to this day, I'm convinced it was their maintenance guy who was here two days earlier.<br>4)Not a big deal but the genius who put the low grade smoke detector right outside of the bathroom should be shot. Everytime you get out of the shower BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. Ah how steam and smoke could be confused.<br>5)Do you like hearing your upstairs neighbor beat up his girlfriend twice a week. I don't. Especially cause it goes on at 3 in the morning.<br>6)Do you like hearing aforementioned neighbor making up with beaten girlfriend. YOU HEAR EVERYTHING! Even the cheesy lines he uses while....<br>7)This is the ------. Cops do not care about the ------. When the maintenance guy probably took your stuff, the cops do not respond (even after five phone calls)<br>8)Do you like signing wavers because you have lead based paint in your apartment. Read your fine print people. Not recommended for parents who don't want their kids to grow tails. May as well have your kid sleep in the microwave.<br>9)Do you like to sleep? I do too. I have not done it in a few months because the 2 heaters kick on every four seconds and sound like a mix between the Challenger taking off, a power saw, and Fran Drescher.<br>10)Do you like doing stuff? I do too. Unfortunately there is nothing within a five mile radius to do here except look at people who are contemplating robbing you. The closest thing to fun around here is going to one of the convenience store (I prefer Jihads or Bodegas) and learn a new language, the whole time with people behind you who are looking to follow you back to your car and stab you 12 times to steal the pack of gum you just bought.<br>
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