Is Dating My Roommate a Good Idea?

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Is Dating My Roommate a Good Idea?

Emily Gojko · Nov 4, 2009

If roommate romance is on your mind, you have probably found yourself daydreaming about the dating my roommate scenario. Here is what you should consider before you make the leap from roommates to romance.

1 – Secrets Are out in the Open

If you date your roommate, be aware that it is much more difficult to keep secrets, if it is even possible at all. Secrets can be about anything that you wouldn’t be totally open with someone about. For example, it could be that you are in credit card debt, or it could be a relationship indiscretion. Whatever the secret is, if you are dating and living together, it is harder to keep. That being said, if your relationship is a good one, there should be no secrets really worth keeping.

2 – Somewhat Embarrassing Moments Become Very Embarrassing

If you are living with your romantic interest, suddenly all those sort of embarrassing moments, for example, bodily functions and bodily noises, may become way more embarrassing. This is natural. There are certain things couples don’t do in front of each other right away, and it takes time to build up to that comfort level. However, perhaps you are just so totally comfortable with each other, this won’t happen. Then, you’re in luck.

3 – The Boundaries Beware

When you have a roommate, certain boundaries are established. For example, if you share a bathroom, that doesn’t mean that you share shampoo or toothpaste. f you are living with your boyfriend or girlfriend though, boundaries like this are sure to be crossed. Be prepared to share your space and your stuff.

4 – Friends First, Friends After

Many people think that if you were friends with your boyfriend or girlfriend prior to dating, and you break up, you can be friends after. This is a nice thought, but it isn’t always the case. It is important to consider this before dating your roommate. If you break up, you may lose a boyfriend or girlfriend, a friend, and a roommate. If the apartment is not in your name, it is especially important to remember that if you get into a fight or break up with your significant other, you may find yourself looking for a new place to live rather quickly.

5 – Living Together and Sharing a Room

You need to make a decision, once romantically involved with your roommate, if you will continue to live in separate rooms, or if you will be sharing a room. This seems like a simple decision, but once you decide to share room, it is very difficult to go back without causing a relationship rift. Try keeping separate rooms, and gradually move towards sharing a room, should the desire present itself.

6 – Too Much of a Good Thing

Even when you are head over heels for your significant other, you sometimes want some time alone. When you live together, you are together constantly, and it can be harder to get this alone time. You need to remember that because you live together, you don’t need to plan to see each other. Take advantage of this, and get alone time outside of the apartment.

Make sure to consider the pros and cons before deciding to make the dating decision.

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Emily Gojko: I am a writer, marketer, and manager with a strong background in real estate development and management. I am also a native New Yorker with an obsession for home design shows, so I have personal and professional experience making the most of small spaces, and dealing with good and bad living situations.

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