Roommate Rehab: How to Get Them to Stop Nagging

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Roommate Rehab: How to Get Them to Stop Nagging

Staff Writer · Mar 8, 2010

Living with a roommate has its pluses and minuses. Sometimes, your roommate is not happy with life or living in the apartment, which can result in a lot of nagging. This will affect you emotionally at some point, and you’ll have to deal with it before it gets out of hand. However, you don’t want to approach your roommate, who may otherwise be reliable and dependable, the wrong way. Here’s how to get them to stop nagging, without driving them out:

Remove the Triggers You Control

Is there something you’re doing or not doing that’s causing your roommate to nag? Stop doing it, if it’s the right thing to do and if it will stop the nagging. For example, if your roommate does not like it when you leave your bathroom towel on the floor, then stop dropping the towel on the floor. Find ways to problem solve the issue, or find alternative ways to do something. If your roommate is not constantly triggered by something you’re doing, they’ll stop nagging you about it.

Help Them Cope

Not everything that triggers your roommate’s nagging is within your control. In those instances, the best thing that you can do is try to help them cope with the situation. How do you handle the same thing that seems to get them to nag? How can you help them cope the same way? For example, if your roommate often nags about the loud music that comes from the tenant’s apartment directly above you, show them how you cope with the same issue. If you knock the ceiling with a broom to let the tenant know, which results in the tenant lowering the music, then do it in front of your roommate. They may be new to an apartment living situation, or lack the courage to deal with things to way you do.

Build a Relationship

Your roommate won’t nag you as much if they build a friendship with you. Bonding without any effort doesn’t happen to roommates. It takes effort on someone’s part, and that might as well be you. Find activities to do with your roommate, with the goal of building a relationship with them.  You don’t have to leave your apartment all the time, but every once in a while it’s good to get out together. Check for events in your neighborhood, or ones hosted by the managers of your apartment building. If you’re both athletic, schedule time to workout together, or go for a run. Before you know it, your roommate will confide in you and share with you their fears and frustrations, rather than nag you all the time.

If none of the above works, you’ll have to ask your roommate to stop nagging. This is hard to do, especially if you’re dealing with a very sensitive individual. However, you can still ask them in a gentle way, while offering to help them solve the issues that are troubling them.

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