Resident · 2015 - 2016
Do you enjoy lying awake at night wondering if the person screaming in the apartment above you is getting their teeth knocked in? Or maybe you just hate being woken up by your alarm clock and would much rather be pulled from your slumber by the tranquil sound of your neighbor happily slamming a strangers head against your front door? Then look no further because this is the place for you!!! There's a police station conveniently located in the parking lot so you can rest easy knowing that your car radio was stolen only 10 feet away from thumb-twiddling officers! Don't forget to appreciate the new smashed in dashboard look those little rascals gave your car while they lovingly stole your radio!=) All those missing pieces just give your vehicle some much needed character! I was just tickled pink when I learned that the video surveillance sign posted at the parking lot entrance referred to imaginary cameras. Good thing I can park right in front of my apartment! I just love being able to look out the window and know immediately whether or not that car alarm I just heard belongs to my vehicle! Uh-Oh! Your AC went out? Don't worry about it! The assistant manager says it's not too hot outside so she must be right! Just think of all the water weight you'll lose sweating in your apartment!=) You'll wish they had taken longer then a week and a half to fix it with how phenomenal you look! Got an issue you need taken care of in the middle of the night? Just call the night manager! She's sure to entertain you with her snippy remarks and hateful attitude! After you open the door that she's been persistently beating on, you can feel at ease knowing that the only noise issue is the TV she just realized you had on and not the couple beating the hell out of each other upstairs! Silly you!=P You should have known to just mute it and use subtitles! The actual apartment is just wonderful! The hole in the bathtub, linoleum that's peeling up at the corners, dishwasher that's not bolted in, rotting siding to the right of your balcony, free internet you joyfully discovered is just a stone age DSL connection, the nonexistent blinds you've been trying to get replaced in your room for months, pointless gated entry into your building (Forgot your key? You can just reach around and open it from the other side!), and let's not forget the paint falling off of the ceiling above the shower! These are all just premium features you and your 3 roommates are paying a total of $2,000 for! This really is a high quality of living! I'm almost sad my lease is up in 29 days, 23 hours, 7 minutes and 43 seconds! I sure am going to miss constantly looking over my shoulder every time I walk out the door!